Healing My Relationship with Food

The love affair continues...For over a decade, I traveled to every major US city on the east coast as a consultant. Every city that I now recall is attached to a food reference.

The sushi place on Market street across from the Sofitel where I had sushi for the first time and learned about grades of fish. We went there every Monday for a year.

Lydia’s in Pittsburgh – best gnocchi EVAH!

Arris’ Bistro in Jefferson City, Missouri – only decent restaurant in town.

I couldn’t tell you anything else about these places.

Food was the focal point of my life.

In 2013, I experienced something different.

I was on a 2-week Abraham Hicks cruise in the Mediterranean.

The highlights of the trip included the Islamic call to prayer, rendezvous with friends in Athens, skinny dipping in Mykonos.

There’s only one major food reference I can make for that entire trip. Even that event is remembered as 3 friends meeting 4 strangers and talking about travel adventures. The food was a delightful coffee drink with vanilla ice cream that was recommended by one of the strangers.

It was an orgasm in a glass.

Someone asked me about the food on that cruise and I couldn’t remember – GASP!

To be able to mark the milestones of my life by great conversations, synchronicities, and sites; to be able to experience a culture through their mannerisms and behavior rather than what they eat; is a MAJOR shift for me.

I only realized it in hindsight.

How did I do it?

The Love Affair Begins

Back in 2011, after many failed diets and attempts to manage my weight, I decided to stop.

Stop beating myself up. Stop shaming. Stop whipping myself into shape.

I embarked on a love affair – with my body.

I decided to love my body as it was at over 275 lbs. It was risky. I could have stayed at that weight. But the alternative was to continue a net 10lb gain annually as I flogged myself for 3 months every year, lost 35-40lbs, then gain it all back plus 10 in the other 9 months. I was tired of the cycle.

I resolved that if I attempted anything to manage my weight, it would have to be for the long haul. In the meantime, I looked in the mirror every day and said…

“I love and approve of myself.”

Some days, there was a river of tears as I realized how much badgering my body took for my other bottled emotions.

Some days, it was like talking to lover and enjoying my curves and jiggles – discovering uncharted territory.

Moving My Body

As the love affair continued, I found that I REALLY wanted to move. My body wanted to move.

I took it easy.

Just 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week.

No room to beat myself up. No blame. No shame.

It started when I found a Bhangra lesson on YouTube. That led to Zumba. Then walking. Then You Are Your Own Gym.

Before I knew it, I was naturally doing 30-60 minutes a day of exercise.

From there, I got a recommendation for If I’m So Smart Why Can’t I Lose the Weight.

Finding My Joy

I realized that 80% of my joy came from food. So, when faced with removing food, I was horrified.

Who wants to lose 80% of the joy in their life?

So, I started seeking joy elsewhere.

I dusted off my dreams. I rekindled my desires to be a coach, own my business, teach metaphysics.

Then came the moment of reckoning…The diabetes diagnosis.

Things got scary then. I was tempted to go to battle. I knew I needed to get serious, but the love affair meant more.

No way was I going back to beating myself up.

I continued for another year – moving my body, finding the joy in my life.

I dropped 35lbs.

And one day, in the most unexpected way, I met someone who helped me to drastically change my food.

Fueling My Body

By then, the joy from food was down to about 40%. It still provided comfort, but it no longer excited me. I was excited by new friends in foreign places, ease in the arena of work, wealth building.

He took away all the food crutches.

I was down to eating ONLY for fuel – chicken, fish, vegetables. In other words, protein with limited fat and carbs.

It was scary. I won’t lie.

But the love affair continued. I wanted to fuel my body with healthy, nourishing food. I wanted it to run efficiently. I didn’t want it to have to work extra hard to deal with the junk I was putting in.

I wanted to LOVE my body – to nurture it.

The Love Affair Continues…

I love moving my body. I love my curves. I love the jiggle. I love feeling energized and light. I love running. I love the efficiency of my body. I marvel at its resilience.

The love affair continues as I shift my relationship with food.

I want to naturally reach for greens, almonds and fish to fuel and nourish my body. And to reach for family, friends, and lovers – not Talenti gelato – when I desire comfort.

Are you/have you changed your relationship with food? I would love to hear about it in the comments below.

Nneka, Working Mystic
Nneka serves spiritual seekers who desire to put the Law of Attraction to work to create the life of their dreams.

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